http://whispy.blog126.fc2.com/ Rants and Venting ja http://whispy.blog126.fc2.com/blog-entry-22.html I think...I'm going to try to not be on for a while.I will try to isolate myself like when I was little. Where all I did was go to school, come home, and not say a word.Yes, I was basically mute when I was little.So, I will try to go back to those days.That also means not talking to people. I know in the end I'll just grow depressed and more suicidal, since that's what happened in the past and is I will try to isolate myself like when I was little. Where all I did was go to school, come home, and not say a word.
Yes, I was basically mute when I was little.
So, I will try to go back to those days.
That also means not talking to people. I know in the end I'll just grow depressed and more suicidal, since that's what happened in the past and is continuing to happen now. Not from not talking to anyone, but from being away from the computer and such. I hated that month away. I felt like everyone passed me by when I returned. Like I was forgotten. Just a speck of dust no one noticed. Might as well have been dead. Returning was a relief but it also wasn't. It felt horrible returning and noticing how different things were. How everyone had gone so far. Felt so awkward. Like I just didn't belong. Not that I did before, but this was worse. It caused me so much pain I tried to kill myself a few days after. Obviously didn't succeed. Nonetheless, it's something I don't want to go through again. Yet something I go through on a daily basis and something I'll be going through again in doing this.
Maybe I'll leave Deviant Art. But then again, where else do I have to go...

I feel like ignoring, or avoiding, depending on how you see it or want to see it, everyone.
I just want everything...gone. ]]> Category: None 2009-09-15T23:00:02+09:00 Gin Kouri FC2-BLOG http://whispy.blog126.fc2.com/blog-entry-21.html My arm suddenly gained two new bruises. :|One purple and one bluish green. It's a mystery to me how they got there, but I'm guessing it's because I gave blood. I don't remember what the side effects may be. I remember one was bruising, but that's it. I don't remember it saying your arm may go numb for about an hour. I know it'll hurt for a while, but still. I feel like I'm losing feeling in my han One purple and one bluish green. It's a mystery to me how they got there, but I'm guessing it's because I gave blood. I don't remember what the side effects may be. I remember one was bruising, but that's it. I don't remember it saying your arm may go numb for about an hour. I know it'll hurt for a while, but still. I feel like I'm losing feeling in my hand which is odd. I keep flexing it just so I know it's still there and so that I know I can still move it. Basically it's freaking me out and making me paranoid to no end.

Good news is getting my TV fixed today. So hooray~ No more feeling utterly lonely in a quiet room. Now I'll feel lonely in a loud room. xD; Which is good because silence also paranoids me. In any case, I can now go back to playing DDR. Which is also good because I need to get my legs moving so they won't hurt like hell when I go rollerblading with the others.


And that's it. Least all I will say. :| ]]> Category: None 2009-08-17T14:07:03+09:00 Gin Kouri FC2-BLOG http://whispy.blog126.fc2.com/blog-entry-20.html [Insert major depression here.][Insert wanting to hurt self here.][Insert wanting to die here.][Insert crying here.][Insert hating self here.][Insert hating art here.][Insert hating people who I am envious of.][Insert wanting to leave dA forever here.][Insert cursing&swearing here.][Insert loneliness here.][Insert wanting to stab people here.][Insert wanting to let homicidal-ness out here.][Insert [Insert wanting to hurt self here.]
[Insert wanting to die here.]
[Insert crying here.]
[Insert hating self here.]
[Insert hating art here.]
[Insert hating people who I am envious of.]
[Insert wanting to leave dA forever here.]
[Insert cursing&swearing here.]
[Insert loneliness here.]
[Insert wanting to stab people here.]
[Insert wanting to let homicidal-ness out here.]
[Insert wanting to let suicidal-ness out here.]
[Insert murder-suicide thoughts here.]
[Insert more crying here.]
[Insert more loneliness here.]
[Insert failure here.]
[Insert more failure here.]
[Insert wanting to smash head here.]
[Insert giving up here.]
[Insert, again, more crying.]
[Insert just dead with depression here.]
[Insert no one caring here.]
[Insert people saying they care but won't do anything here.]
[Insert people trying to boost self-esteem here and just making it worse because they don't understand, thus failing here.]
[Insert major loneliness here.]
[Insert hopeless cause here.]
[Repeat once more.]
[The End.] ]]> Category: None 2009-08-03T10:29:27+09:00 Gin Kouri FC2-BLOG http://whispy.blog126.fc2.com/blog-entry-18.html Sailor Moon~ They were awesome. c:


PEDO BEAR FTW!
;-; Honestly, awesome.


At the end when we were going to go home, Go and I walked around to warm up [as we had no sweaters or jackets] and just before turning back to go to the Convention Center again, we spotted someone signing this and decided to check it out. Was the Michael Jackson signing board and we decided to sign it as well.
Mine said "Hi" and then my name under that and Gin under that. xD; I'd like to say mine stood out were it not for it being written in black IN the black area, lol.
]]> Category: None 2009-07-05T20:59:28+09:00 Gin Kouri FC2-BLOG http://whispy.blog126.fc2.com/blog-entry-17.html 7. Gin6. Gin Kouri0. Ginko7. Whispy5. Senpai5. Bella9. Gin-Gin0. Neenjuh3. Gangstur3. Other, lol~ 6. Gin Kouri
0. Ginko
7. Whispy
5. Senpai
5. Bella
9. Gin-Gin
0. Neenjuh
3. Gangstur
3. Other, lol~ ]]> Category: None 2009-06-25T17:08:04+09:00 Gin Kouri FC2-BLOG