[Whispy's] - Blog

I think...I'm going to try to not be on for a while.
I will try to isolate myself like when I was little. Where all I did was go to school, come home, and not say a word.
Yes, I was basically mute when I was little.
So, I will try to go back to those days.
That also means not talking to people. I know in the end I'll just grow depressed and more suicidal, since that's what happened in the past and is continuing to happen now. Not from not talking to anyone, but from being away from the computer and such. I hated that month away. I felt like everyone passed me by when I returned. Like I was forgotten. Just a speck of dust no one noticed. Might as well have been dead. Returning was a relief but it also wasn't. It felt horrible returning and noticing how different things were. How everyone had gone so far. Felt so awkward. Like I just didn't belong. Not that I did before, but this was worse. It caused me so much pain I tried to kill myself a few days after. Obviously didn't succeed. Nonetheless, it's something I don't want to go through again. Yet something I go through on a daily basis and something I'll be going through again in doing this.
Maybe I'll leave Deviant Art. But then again, where else do I have to go...

I feel like ignoring, or avoiding, depending on how you see it or want to see it, everyone.
I just want everything...gone.

My arm suddenly gained two new bruises. :|
One purple and one bluish green. It's a mystery to me how they got there, but I'm guessing it's because I gave blood. I don't remember what the side effects may be. I remember one was bruising, but that's it. I don't remember it saying your arm may go numb for about an hour. I know it'll hurt for a while, but still. I feel like I'm losing feeling in my hand which is odd. I keep flexing it just so I know it's still there and so that I know I can still move it. Basically it's freaking me out and making me paranoid to no end.

Good news is getting my TV fixed today. So hooray~ No more feeling utterly lonely in a quiet room. Now I'll feel lonely in a loud room. xD; Which is good because silence also paranoids me. In any case, I can now go back to playing DDR. Which is also good because I need to get my legs moving so they won't hurt like hell when I go rollerblading with the others.


And that's it. Least all I will say. :|